id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize