You just made me feel so damn special
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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