id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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