how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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