How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
