Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize