We're facebook friends in real life
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
