We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
