We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
