Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
