Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
