how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
