hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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