she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
