'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Even my vagina gasped.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
