Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
youre lurking in front of me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
