Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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