i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
