He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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