i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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