You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
