I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
