need another drink. this is the easiest way
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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