this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
