shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
