I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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