I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
