Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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