Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
