yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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