the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
