Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Im part way to drunk.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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