Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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