I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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