We're facebook friends in real life
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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