Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
