I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
