He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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