Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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