tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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