i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize