hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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