I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
