i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
