hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
