I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
