that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
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I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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