i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
