So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize