Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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