But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
