Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
