God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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