I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Brb crying the tears of my youth
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
