No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
