I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
