I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
