you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
