i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
