Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We need to get me chipped asap
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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